Warning Signs of an Abuser
Warning Signs of an Abuser
- He/She makes all decisions
- Servant/Master mentality
- Denial of Job Freedom/Withholds money
- Threatens to take away or hurt the kids
- Using jealousy, stress, and frustration to justify actions
- Force partner to do things sexually against her/his will, refusing to practice safe sex, rape
- Hitting, beatings, punching, slapping, strangling, burning, spitting, shaking, pushing, shoving, scratching, choking, kicking, pinching, pulling hair, poking, twisting of arms, tripping, biting, restraining, stalking, using weapons[cutting-stabbing-shooting], sexual abuse[rape], threats/violent-disrespectful words, throwing of objects
- Charming in public, menacing in private
- Destroying of property or pets…Demonstrates vicious and cruel behavior
- Make light of abuse…”You’re too sensitive”
- Name calling, mind games, isolate partner from friends and loved ones
- Manipulative; using partner’s weak spots/vulnerability to his/her advantage
- Controlling/possessive; demands to know where his/her partner is at all times
- He/She never assumes responsibility…It’s everyone else’s fault
- Inconsistent…one minute ok and the next (s)he is pounding her/his fist
- Critical; Yells, degrades and humiliates in private and/or public
- Insincerely repentant…”(S)He swears (s)he will never do it again”
- Overreacts and gets extremely angry
- Has low self-esteem
- Has very rigid ideas about gender roles
- Abused as a child
- Has abused previous partners
If you demonstrate any 1 of the above, then you are an abuser.
If you have children, you are teaching them the same wrong things that you were taught and they will become future abusers themselves.
We are strong believers in therapy and it does not have to cost a lot of money. Any therapy is better than no therapy. CBHCare has locations in Hackensack-Lyndhurst-Westwood. We want you to be aware that they will conduct an extensive intake session to gather as much information as possible. Then, therapy begins. Also, local religious establishments may have access to free therapy such as churches, temples, and centers. If you are a student, take advantage of the psychological services at your college/university. Therapy will not fix your problems right away. This will take time…but it will definitely make you feel a little less heavier every time you go to therapy and this is VERY important. NEVER Stop Going To Therapy; individual or group.
Recommendation: Tell your workplace, your kids’ school, and your place of residence that you would like us to come in to conduct the Osso Safe Seminar/Workshop. This will help anyone that could be an abuser so that all the responsibility of the solution does not have to fall on one individual person.