If you or a family member is in an abusive relationship, whether physically, sexually, or verbally, whether male or female, please know that it is not your fault, you are not alone, and things will get better.
We are strong believers in therapy and it does not have to cost a lot of money. Any therapy is better than no therapy. CBHCare has locations in Hackensack-Lyndhurst-Westwood. We want you to be aware that they will conduct an extensive intake session to gather as much information as possible. After that part of the process, therapy begins. Also, local religious establishments may have access to free therapy such as churches, temples, and centers. If you are a student, take advantage of the psychological services at your college/university. Therapy will not fix your problems right away. This will take time...but it will definitely make you feel a little less heavier every time you go to therapy and this is VERY important. NEVER Stop Going To Therapy; individual or group.
It is not up to you to fix your abuser's problems. Do not subject your children to your abuser. Get a restraining order for anyone that abuses you, especially your spouse or live-in partner. I know this is very hard, but it will send a huge message to your abuser that you will not tolerate the abuse anymore and it will go on his/her criminal record. Do NOT expose your children to your abuser. You are endangering them by letting them spend time with your abuser.
Start documenting the abuse...specifically, the day and what happened. This will empower you or your family member and it will break the silence of home violence which will begin to be healing for you.
I know this is very scary; the scariest. THIS is not normal; never was, never will be.
The more time passes, the more horrible it will be. You must tell someone you can trust; even trust just a little bit. You can’t keep this a secret. If you have children, they are learning that this must be normal; that violence is normal. You deserve peace and safety. Your kids want you to have peace and safety. Your children deserve peace and safety.
VIOLENCE/ABUSE/CHAOS is not normal.
VIOLENCE/ABUSE/CHAOS is not right.
People just like you live freely now...Tina Turner now lives free. HALLE Berry now lives free. Robyn Givens now lives free.
Francis Hughes played by Farrah Fawcett in the movie, “The Burning Bed”, now lives free.
THE woman in the movie, Chocolat, now lives free. Hedda Nussbaum now lives free.
It's ok that you don't have money.
It's ok if you don't speak English
It's ok that you are very very scared.
Terrorism in the home must stop.
You are not crazy.
If (s)he even thinks about abusing you, it's a crime!!
Your abuser, whether it be your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, mother, father, brother, sister needs to be removed from your house and your life and never return.
(S)he will never change. Stop thinking that (s)he will. You are lying to yourself.
You have absolutely no reason to be ashamed. Your abuser should be ashamed.
This is not your fault. It never was and it never will be.
YOU ARE STRONG
YOU CAN DO THIS
GET OUT OF VICTIM MODE AND INTO EMPOWER MODE
THE CHAOS CAN DISAPPEAR FOR YOU
YOU CAN DO THE RIGHT THING FOR YOURSELF
YOU CAN DO BETTER
THINGS CAN BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SAFE IN YOUR OWN HOME.......................................................................OSSO SAFE.
Recommendation: Tell your workplace, your kids' school, and your place of residence that you would like us to come in to conduct our Osso Safe Seminar/Workshop. This will help you the most because that way the responsibility of the solution does not have to fall all on you, the victim. Let your workplace, school, and landlord assist you by hiring us so that you don't have to keep this terror that you are going through, a secret.
See SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS/CONTACT US Tab on this website.
WARNING SIGNS OF A VICTIM